Because I’m really not in the mood at this point, and because the Internet here is snail paced, I’m not going to rewrite this. Instead, here’s the (slightly edited) email I sent to Leslie as soon as I landed in Istanbul:

Oh my God. Well the good news is I arrived safely. First, I bought
the wrong train ticket for Frankfurt and had a panic attack when they announced a
change in Mannheim for people going to the Frankfurt airport. When I got off the train, the guy at the platform told me it would cost me extra to change my ticket, but then on the train they were super great about it and just told which stop would be mine.

Then when I got to the airport I discovered that there were three luggage storage spots and I didn’t know which one Leslie’s brother took my luggage to. I was sweating like a pig because of course there was no air conditioning and I got huge blisters from walking back and forth
through the terminal. Luckily it was at the second storage location I tried so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

No, the truly awful thing was that my airline didn’t consider my flight international because I didn’t fly with them from the United States, so I was only allowed 20 kilos (44 pounds) before they started charging me 15 eurose PER KILO. For the record, my other airline allowed two 50-lb bags. That should give you some idea of what I was dealing with.

So basically they wanted me to pay $550 to check one of my bags, which, by the way, is twice the price I paid for my round-trip ticket from them. I ended up having to throw away pretty much everything in the suitcase her brother stored for me and STILL ended up paying €120 extra. I was crying hysterically because I’d been awake for 24 hours and they were so unsympathetic. AND what really pissed me off was that the flight was half empty! Was it really necessary to be nazis about the baggage allowance when there was NOBODY on the fucking flight. There were at least 25 empty seats, including the two right next to me (as if I needed it rubbed in that throwing away half my clothes and all of my toileteries was extreme). Twenty-five empty seats adds up to 25 bags not checked at 20 kilos each, which adds up to 500 kilos NOT on board. I don’t think my 8 kilos over the limit was going to ground the plane.

I’ve been traveling for a month. I’m 3,000 miles away from home with nobody who can just take my extra clothes home for me. Would it really have killed them to be a little bit understanding about the situation?

Needless to say, while I was on my layover I wrote a ridiculously long well-worded letter (no swearing!) to customer service. I’m sending it as soon as I have Internet. Oh AND my flight was an hour late so my roommate’s friend who was meeting me (and who got off work early to meet me) had to wait forever!

Fuck Swiss Air!