January 2009


I seriously must have a flashing sign above my head that reads “Now Single” because I can’t remember ever being hit on in the last three years, but have been propositioned a number of times in the past week or so since Tony moved out. Not that I’m complaining, because I could really use the validation right now, but I have been interested in accepting exactly ZERO of the requests for my phone number/ a date from men. So, I thought I’d provide a couple of tips for the men out there:

1. Don’t tell me you’re going down to San Francisco to clear up a parking ticket so you can get your gun back, then proceed to try to shove my hand down your pants. On the Greyhound.

2. Don’t hit on me at Planned Parenthood. Obviously, I put out, just not for you.

3. Don’t be a creepy, balding, old guy.

4. Just don’t be creepy in general.

5. Do NOT call me “Boo.” In fact, how about you don’t call me any nicknames until we’ve at least slept together, mmmkay?

6. Don’t have neck tattoos.

7. Don’t sag your pants. That’s so 1991.

8. Do not refer to my booty. At all. The words plump, round, juicy, etc. all translate to “FAT” in whitegirlspeak.

*Note: I’m fairly certain this list will be added to regularly in the coming weeks. Prepare yourselves.

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Ugh, so I just read this blog by some guy (of course) about abortion and how women are always “crying” about women’s rights in the name of “legalized murder.” The guy seems like a pretty decent guy normally, but I could not believe how ignorant he was about abortion. He even wrote that women use abortion as a form of birth control, which is probably true for about .000001 percent of women. He also wrote that rape would be the only case in which he would support a woman having an abortion. Anywho, it of course enraged me and inspired the following comment, which is pretty much more like a blog post in itself, so I thought I’d post it, since you all LOVE when I post abortion blogs (come on, admit it, you love the drama). Here’s what I wrote:

This post is obviously from the viewpoint of a man. I don’t feel that I’m “crying” about women’s rights when I say that I believe women should have a right to choose. Personally, I don’t think I could have an abortion, but I also don’t think I have the right to tell someone else they can’t. There are numerous reasons a woman may NEED to have an abortion, not just rape. Not only that, but I would much prefer that women be able to have an abortion if they can’t take care of a child than I would that they have a child and raise it in poverty or add to the overpopulation of the world for no reason.

Furthermore, if you really want to complain about the reason women are having abortions as a “form of birth control,” then what needs to be addressed is the lack of proper sexual education in this country. The number one thing we can do to stop unwanted babies from being born without abortion is to teach men and women how to prevent those pregnancies in the first place. I sincerely doubt that there are millions of women out there though who are running down to the abortion clinic every time they get pregnant though. If they were, there wouldn’t be so many children living in poverty and in foster care programs.

Having an abortion is not a decision I think any woman takes lightly and is highly emotional. Add to that the fact that anti-abortion activists are constantly throwing it in our faces, and you can see that this isn’t a decision any woman (or couple, for that matter) makes without putting some serious thought into it. Although abortion is legal in this country, it is still a highly stigmatized procedure. And, just remember that without it, all of those women who were desperate for an abortion would probably try to perform it in their own home and would likely die from it. This is one of the main reasons abortion was legalized in the first place.

I think it’s far too easy for people to completely discount the benefits of living in a country that allows abortions, especially when they haven’t been faced with that awful decision. Just a little extra thought and critical thinking could show them that being pro-choice is not the same as being pro-legalized murder, no matter how much the anti-abortion people want you to believe that.

My boyfriend finally moved out last week and finished getting his things out on Sunday. I was really sad to see him go, but am already feeling better now that he’s actually gone and I can start to heal my heart a bit. I also switched rooms with my roommate to give myself a new perspective as well. The room is smaller, but there are no memories of Tony here. Plus, now I have my bookcase in my bedroom, which is not only comforting, but will hopefully give me motivation to start reading that full shelf of TBR books. Thanks to all of you for your kind words. It really is wonderful to have a community full of people who can offer advice and love when it’s needed.

I start a new job in the morning and school starts next week, so I’ll be busy, but it will hopefully help take my mind off things enough that I’ll want a good book to help me escape.

Best,

Becca

Last night I went out with a couple of my friends to celebrate the inauguration and I ran into a couple of Tony’s co-workers who I LOVE…and started crying pretty much immediately. I really have been feeling a lot better the last couple of days, but running into these girls made me really, really sad because I miss them a lot. The sucky thing about breakups is that you don’t just lose that person, but a whole group of people who were a part of your life for all those years that you dated that person. It really does suck, but I know it’s a part of every breakup. Gotta suck it up and move on I suppose…

It’s not spring yet, but it sure feels like it, so it’s not too bizarre that I did a bit of spring cleaning today. Sofia and I changed rooms today. My new room is quite a bit smaller and looks pretty packed right now, except for the walls, which are completely blank thanks to Tony taking all the artwork. I think I’m going to like this new space though. It’ll be comfy and will keep me from accumulating too much stuff. I love that all my stuff is dusted and clean now. No more signs of the boy either. He came and got the rest of his stuff today, and I even washed the Tony out of my sheets. Time to start fresh. Feels pretty damn good.

I’m moving into a smaller room in my apartment so my rent will go down. What that means, of course, is that I’m once again trying to get rid of stuff, so the other day I put pretty much all of my books up on Amazon.com and I’ve already sold 5 books in less than two days. That’s huge considering I used to have my books on half.com and would only sell about one per month. This is the first time I’ve tried to sell on Amazon, but it’s seriously the best decision ever. If you need to get rid of books fast (or just need fast cash) Amazon is the place to do it. Yay for some extra pocket money and more space!

Hey Family! Yeah, it’s me OVER HERE! Oh, you see me now? OK, good because I have something to say. And don’t pretend you don’t read this because I know you all check this, which is why I’ve had to start blogs all over the Internets to keep hiding from you. But now I’m coming out to talk to you because I have something to say. Maybe this will stop the gossip mills. So, you listening? Good.

FOR THE RECORD: Tony did NOT break up with me because he wanted to get married and I turned him down. I don’t know where the fuck this rumor came from, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. How’s about next time you just ask me what the fuck happened? Granted, some of you have asked me and I’ve been crying too hysterically to answer, but still. Do you really have to start crazy rumors? If you really must know, and really, you do, right? That’s why the rumor mill is going, right? So, here’s the deal: I don’t know why Tony broke up with me.

He gave me a bunch of reasons (you know, the kind you tell the other person so that you don’t have to tell them the truth, which is that you just can’t stand them anymore). Mostly he said he just wants to hang out with his friends and not worry about whether I’m going to be OK with it or not. He wants to be free and single and “do his own thing.” But there are other things too. You know, he hates that I want to travel (NEWS TO ME) and that I don’t have a “real” job. Oh, and a bunch of other bullshit stuff that really just means: HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE WITH ME ANYMORE.

K? Got that?

Good. I’m glad we had this little talk.

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