For years I have wondered what people mean when they say government workers are lazy and incompetent. Donald, my ex-husband and a government worker, once tried to explain this to me. He said the reason government workers are lazy and incompetent is because they pretty much can’t get fired, no matter how bad they are at their jobs. I thought it was a bit weird that job security would make people be bad at their jobs, but whatever. I decided to go along with it.

So when most people say, “Augh, Government workers,” and roll their eyes then nod knowingly, I nod knowingly with them. But I never really had the heart. I never really, REALLY believed them until now.

After sending in my birth certificate, my marriage license, my divorce ruling, a six-page-long form, $67, and a promise to provide my first-born child, I finally recieved my passport in the mail yesterday. Note: I sent in my application back in February. I was overjoyed to finally have my new passport, which looks super cool with it’s new electronic swiping abilities, but wait. What’s this? WTF? Hold on a second here. How the hell did they get my birthplace wrong? I sent them my original passport. Yep, here it is right here in the same envelope. And, wait, yep, it has the correct birthplace on it. Couldn’t they have just copied my information right off this old one?

Nope, apparently not. Apparently wherever you LIVE is the place you were born. Duh! Everyone knows that, right? Wrong. No, I was not born in Sacramento, California. Yes, I live here, but I was BORN in Papillion, Nebraska. I’m sorry folks but Nebraska and California may have nearly the same number of letters, but for all intents and purposes they are DIFFERENT. Very, very different.

Now I have to send my beautiful new passport back and hope they don’t screw it up. And this time they don’t have four months to get it back to me. Augh!

I cannot even begin to explain how angry I am about this.