In looking for ways to save money I’ve been scrutinizing my budget. Instead of needing to cut out lattes and splurges on new clothes I realized the thing that needs to be deleted from my monthly spending is my car. You know, the POS that doesn’t have a working radio and breaks down every couple months? Yeah, that’s the one.

I pay more for my stupid car than I do for rent! Now, that’s a revelation. I could save $600 a month if I got rid of my car. No repairs, no gas, no insurance needed. I would be able to work a part-time retail job downtown and still afford all of my bills if I didn’t have a car. I’ve already gotten used to living without constant shopping sprees and extras like coffee and bagels every day. Sofia’s been living without her car since we crashed it last year and she says it was a godsend to be rid of it.

Now, if I could only find a way to crash my car without hurting myself in the process…