I never understood when people said, “That’s an excuse not a reason.” Aren’t they really the same thing?

I’ve been really moody lately. (If you ask Tony, that’s probably an understatement). I’ve been blaming it on “stress.” The problem is that stress seems like an excuse to me because I don’t feel stressed out. However, I know there are a lot of stresses in my life right now that can make me act stressed.

After all, I just started a new job. I don’t have a place of my own (in case you hadn’t seen, my new residence is “Sofia’s Room”). I don’t have any money. I have to find a house when I get back. And I’m trying to prepare for a month-long stay in a country where I don’t speak the language. All of these things are stress-causers.

But at the same time, wouldn’t any rational person be able to handle this without getting upset at the drop of a hat? I feel like I’m totally neurotic lately. The problem is I don’t know how to change it. I can tell myself to get more sleep. I can say I’m going to eat healthy and exercise. But if I don’t actually do it then I’m just going to continue being stressed out.

I really feel like all of these things will work themselves out when I get back from Costa Rica and manage to settle into “normal” again – once I have a routine. What I worry about is that I might lose some of you before I get there.

I really just hope I’m not going crazy. It’s not possible for a 25-year-old to go through menopause is it?

…but then again I did start my period at age 10…

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