When I was younger and my family was going to have people over for dinner, or for pretty much anything, my mom would always make us clean the house. It was a huge undertaking because there was the debris of 9 children scattered about every inch of the house. Add to that the dander of four dogs and you can just imagine how much work this was. I was thinking about this today because I catch myself doing the same thing now. I try to declutter my space when I know somebody new will be coming to my house. I also put on my best behavior.

First impressions do mean a lot I suppose, but is it really so bad to be ourselves? Whoever it is will figure out sooner or later that we’re really not as clean/polite/nice/fun/whatever as we first present ourselves to be. I think being our best selves is stressful. I wish I could be my best self all the time though. I’ve been trying to keep my room pretty clean and my bed made so my roomie doesn’t think I’m a giant slob and I really like the way it feels to come home to a clean house/room. I suppose it’s like anything though, we have to do it consistently to make it a habit. I still don’t know if I can manage to be “best behavior becca” all the time though.

Last night, I again made a bad impression somehow. I went to meet up with some friends and drove them home from a bar since I was the only sober one. I also took home the non-girlfriend of one of my friends and at first I was SO the taxi driver. She didn’t want to sit in the front seat even though nobody else was in the car. I thought it was weird but decided she was drunk and drunk people do weird things. Nope, turns out she thought I was mean at first and was afraid to sit up front.

She actually said “Maybe I’ll sit up front after all. I thought you were going to be mean or a bitch so I didn’t want to sit up there but it turns out you’re really nice.”

Ouch. I know this is basically the same thing I wrote about yesterday but I’ve been getting this from people a lot lately. People tell me their first impression of me is that I’m pretentious, snobby or mean. I don’t know where they get that from. It may be from my facial expressions and from them not knowing me well, but I’d think as soon as they talked to me or even gave me a chance they’d realize I really am friendly.

I don’t understand what it is I’m doing to make people think I’m so unfriendly/unapproachable. I always thought I was really accepting of people when I first meet them. In my group of friends I feel like I’m one of the most talkative, outgoing ones, especially around new friends. Plus, I was really nice to this girl because I know my friend is into her so I just don’t get it. Not only that, but I offered her a ride home TO ROCKLIN and I don’t even know her.

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