How do people do it? Some people can be upset and you’d never know it. They can hide and wait for better timing to let things out, or they can just hold it all in forever. Some people can hate somebody and everyone knows it except that person. They just look them right in the eye and they smile and pretend everything’s cool, while secretly loathing every minute of the interaction.

Then there’s people like me. No matter how hard I try to keep things inside, to keep things from flowing over the top, everyone knows when something is not right. It’s in my tone of voice, it’s in my body language and worst of all it’s in my facial expressions. The second someone meets me they know if I like them or not. I can’t help it. If I don’t like you it’s written all over my face. If I’m upset my entire demeanor changes and it happens in a matter of seconds.

I try to cover it up with my words, but even those don’t help. Everything’s fine, I say. And everyone looks at me waiting for an explanation. Unfortunately, the explanations are what I’m bad at. Everyone can know I’m upset – for weeks even – but I’m really bad at expressing what’s got me so mixed up inside. Why can’t I be one of those fake people? Just for a little bit.

PS I got paid yesterday so I added $30 more to my Costa Rica fund. That means I’m just $1170 from going on my trip. Make a tax deductible donation by clicking the link on my front page.

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