If you’ve been reading, then you know that yesterday my little sister celebrated her 20th with a broken heart. Her boyfriend broke up with her over the weekend and being so young, this was her first big break up and first real love. I’ve been on the side of a break up for awhile, not because I don’t love Kirk, but because my sister is still so young. Many mormons get married very early and I see a lot of them in unhappy marriages because they have so many regrets of things they wanted to do but didn’t because they grew up so fast. Well, maybe that’s just me. Regardless, I didn’t want her to be so serious with somone when there are so many things I know she’ll want to have done. When we’re young and people tell us that we tend not to believe them. We think we’re always right and they’re always wrong.

Kirk broke up with my sister because he knows they need to have more life experiences before they settle down. He’s studying to be a marriage counselor and I’m sure he understands the difficulties he and my sister would face if they kept being so serious so quickly and at such a young age. They’d only been together for about 8 months and they were talking about marriage already and it scared me to death (Mormons tend to rush into marriage too). Me and my sister are different in many ways, but I know her and I know she had a lot of dreams before she got bogged down in a relationship and started letting her plans go out the door.

Although I think his timing sucks I think him breaking up with my sister was the best thing for her and I think he knows it too. It must have killed him to break her heart for her best interest, but sometimes that’s what has to happen. That’s why Donald left me too and even though it sucked at the time I know it was what was best for me and I would have never done it myself no matter how unhappy I was. I think it’s a sign of really loving somebody when you can put their happiness above your own.

Jess, I know it’s not easy and it still hurts even if it’s the right thing for us. Everyone always tells us to just move on, to forget about them, things will get better. Yeah, that may be true, but it’s okay to be sad too. Take this opportunity to do what YOU want to do. I know you think  we’re so different now because I’ve fallen away from the church, but I think we’re still as alike as we’ve always been, even if you don’t want to admit it. Remember, I’ll be there as soon as the snow melts.

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