The convo:

B: “What’d you to last night?”

Me: “I went out to Ink with my friend James. You remember James don’t you?.”

B: “No, who’s that?”

Me: “Hm. I thought you met him. Well, he’s a guy I used to go to school with….”

Pretty normal right?

Here’s the other half of the convo:

Me: “So what’d you end up doing?”

B: “Oh, nothing really. I just went out with a friend.”

Me: “Really, who?”

B: “Oh, just a friend from work.”

Did anyone notice the difference? Well, I did because these are conversations I’ve had with more than one guy recently and I’m annoyed. If you’re trying to hide something then being vague is not the answer. No, I don’t want to know the juicy details and I’m not going to ask. But when I call to see if you want to hang out don’t just say “I have plans” or “I’m going out with a friend” because to a girl that automatically means you’re going out with another girl that you don’t want us to know about. (I’m sure this works visa versa too). I don’t care if you’re seeing other people. I never asked you not to, but be a little more upfront if you don’t want me to think you’re a sleaze.

If you want the person on the other end of the line to not be suspicious you have to at least give a few details. If you really want them to believe that the person you’re going out with is “just a friend” then tell them their name: “Me and Kelly are going to the movies, what are you up to?” Usually this is sufficient. The person may ask a few questions about who Kelly is, but most likely they won’t ask anything because they don’t want to seem creepy and stalkerish. Plus, you were up-front so OBVIOUSLY nothing is going on, right? Sheesh people! Do I really need to explain this?

I know it’s hard talking to exes about the new people in your life and I know it’s difficult to blow one person off for another when you’ve been “hanging out” with somebody that you may or may not be interested in so take this lesson and use it.

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