I hate to admit it, but I’m a huge fan of American Idol. During the first few seasons I was totally unimpressed and refused to watch the show except for the tryouts because I’m heartless and love to laugh at all of the losers who think they’re talented when they really suck. Then last season they got me hooked. Donald laughed at me each week as I called in to vote for Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood. Yes, I am a huge Carrie Underwood fan. I’m not gonna lie. And, yes I really did vote every week because I didn’t want Constantine to win (I was sure he was a child molester).

I don’t know if this season will be equally rewarding. I don’t know if I’ll be impressed by any one singer and be forced to watch this poor excuse for a TV show (I’m sorry but I’m from the generation that things singers/bands should have to work for years to become famous, not just become a one-hit wonder built up by corporate America). But I am currently enjoying the try-outs.

I think the worst candidate that got chosen last night was this sleasy guy who showed up in his National Guard uniform. He practically molested Paula Abdul and was very chauvanistic. The uniform made him look like a respectable guy…until he started talking. He still talked out of the side of his mouth and appeared just as ghetto as if he had shown up in baggy pants and a t-shirt. The only thing that got him chosen, besides his voice was that uniform. I’ve seen guys on that show who’ve shown up and sung just as well but have been kicked off because of their demeanor and clothing. If I were a military officer and saw this guy on TV I would have been humiliated and probably demanded that he be written up (I don’t know what for, but I’m sure they have some type of dress code/behavior statutes they could have found him in violation of.) Anyway, if I watch the show, I’m definitely hoping he gets voted off.

Then there was the girl who showed up wearing lingerie and admitted he mom was a stripper and had lent her the outfit. She was fab – couldn’t sing though.

One girl they chose that surprised me was a 19-year-old whose dad is a convicted felon and whose mom died when she was younger. That was a little weird to me. I don’t know if the American public is ready for that. She does have a lot going for her though because she’s hot and she can sing REALLY well. My vote may go to her.

Above all, the most rewarding part of last night’s episode though was when this HUGE black girl, wearing a blonde wig and the TINIEST skirt EVER went in thinking she was too cool for school, only to be told she was awful (she was). If her voice wasn’t enough to get her kicked out of there, the outfit would have sent her over the top. BUT getting told she was no good was not enough for this girl. She’s convinced that she WILL be a famous singer one day and she proceeded to say so, insulting Paula Abdul repeatedly. My favorite part was when she said if she was walking down the street next to Paula Abdul everyone would think she was the star, not Paula, because Paula is just a washed up old hag who hasn’t had a hit in twenty years. Hahahaha!

The last of the tryouts are tonight in San Francisco. I can’t wait to see what kind of crazy weirdos will come out for those. It’s gonna be great!