Pride Defined:

* a feeling of self-respect and personal worth

* satisfaction with your (or another’s) achievements; “he takes pride in his son’s success”

* the trait of being spurred on by a dislike of falling below your standards

* a group of lions

* unreasonable and inordinate self-esteem (personified as one of the deadly sins)

* be proud of; “He prides himself on making it into law school”

I’ve never thought of myself as a prideful person until recently. That is to say, I’ve never been too proud to admit when I’m wrong, or too proud to say something even if it meant looking silly. But lately, I just can’t face things like that. I won’t let myself be the one who calls first, to apologize first, to admit I had a role in making things go wrong. I can’t be the one to make the first move, the one to look ridiculous or weak – and all out of pride. I first realized it was pride today and it shook me to the core. Pride isn’t something I think of often, but I’ve realized it can be a very powerful emotion.

I wonder how it is that I became so proud that I can’t ask for other people’s help, even when it’s what I really want. Is pride really such a bad thing anyway? In the definition it says that it’s one of the seven deadly sins, but somehow I think it’s more of a defensive emotion than anything else. I think pride has built up inside of me in order to keep myself from getting hurt again, but then I wonder if it’s making me miss out on something.

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