Crossroads

I’ve made some big plans for the next couple of years, all of them basically hinging on me graduating from my MA TESOL program on time. However, because of the awesome (sarcasm) budget crisis in California, the number of classes being offered in my major each semester is quickly shrinking. In fact, I’m only signed up for two courses next semester because there are only two being offered that I need in order to graduate. Unfortunately, I received an email from my advisor last night that one of those two classes may be canceled if the class doesn’t reach registration capacity in the coming weeks.

What this means is I’d be taking out a ton of student loads and wasting a semester’s worth of grant money for one class, which to me just isn’t worth it. IF my class is canceled, I’ll likely take the semester off school which would mean forfeiting my grant money. This means I will either move to Utah with my sister (and my new nephew!) for six months because I will have $0 when I return to the United States. OR I’ll look for a job teaching English in Turkey and just stay here for awhile. The latter is kind of a pipe dream, considering I only have $75 left in my bank account and I’m not exactly sure what it would take to get a work visa here, but I still like to think about it.

Anyway, I figure, if I have to take a semester off, then I’ll get a full-time job and start saving  a) to pay off the enormous student loan debt I’ve accumulated in the past year and  b) to travel around the world (finally). What worries me is that if I take a semester off, I may never decide to go back and finish my masters. I’ve got the travel itch and I don’t know if I can hold it off for another couple of years because my university keeps canceling classes. At the rate of one class per semester it will take me another four years to complete my two-year degree, not to mention the exorbitant amount of money it will cost me.

SO I kind of feel like my life is at a crossroads. I feel like I have a big decision to make. Should I just take a semester off to work? Should I finally join the Peace Corps as a way to wait out the budget crisis…and avoid paying back my student loans for another two years? Should I look for an overseas teaching job? Should I quit my MA TESOL program all-together? Oh how I wish I could look down each of those roads and see where each one will lead me.

Or, maybe all this worrying is for naught and 20 students will suddenly be interested in taking pedagogical grammar (fun!) next semester. Then I’ll get all that cash, my own apartment and a spring filled with hiking and rock climbing in the Sierra-Nevadas. Yeah, let’s keep our fingers crossed for THAT reality.

UPDATE (Dec. 16): Woke up this morning to an email stating that the class IS being canceled. Am now seriously considering not coming home from Istanbul and becoming a vagabond instead.

 

Boy Update and School Stress

So, life, hey? Things of course didn’t work out with the boy the way I had hoped (do they ever?). I never even got a chance to talk to him again. I don’t know what happened exactly, he just stopped answering my phone calls. Maybe he saw my blog and got angry. I really don’t know. For once though, I’m not bitter about it. I get where he’s coming from on the whole me leaving soon thing. And, yeah, it sucks, but I’m glad I at least had a little bit of time with him. My life is better because I met him and I was happy for awhile so I’m not going to look back on it with regret. That’s all I really have to say about that (thanks, Forrest Gump, for that quote).

Along with all of the boy drama of weeks past, I have been completely stressed out about school. It’s not that my courses are difficult here – they aren’t. It’s just that they’re designed so differently than the courses I take at home. There’s no practicality involved in the courses that are taught here – and to me this translates to “no value.” I just can’t see the point of the projects and the readings we’re doing. Everything here is anchored in theory and research with absolutely no real-world application, whereas my courses at CSUS always include some sort of practical application. Dana and I have both had a difficult time adjusting to this way of thinking and I’m really beginning to fear that my grades are going to suffer because of it, which of course equals STRESS.

Dana and I have been talking lately about putting together a Turkish exchange student handbook for any future students from our university who decide to study abroad here. Top of the list for suggestions to the next students will be that they only take two masters courses, then to fulfill the rest of the credit requirement with Turkish and something to relieve stress (kickboxing, maybe?). Taking a full load of masters courses that are yawn-tastic with zero practical application is a recipe for disaster when coming from our master’s program back home. Either you spend all of your time imprisoned in your dorm room (Dana), or you freak out about failing from the get-go because you’re determined to enjoy Istanbul while you’re here (me). Not only that, but I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve thought about dropping out of the MA TESOL program altogether since I’ve been here. Luckily, I know that it’s only because of the different teaching approaches that I’m ready to jump off a bridge here. I never had these kinds of feelings toward this subject matter when I was studying in the United States. And so it is that I’m really looking forward to going back home despite the fact that I’m going to really, really miss my life here in Istanbul.

Anyway, I’ll try to add some updates about how fab Istanbul is in the next couple of weeks. I know I’ve been rather lax about posting on here (sorry Kristina!). Part of it is that I don’t really know what to write about and part of it is because I’m worried about making overgeneralizations about Turkey. I guess I’ll finally take the leap and write something though. I miss taking the time to write regularly.

Anyway, hope the holiday season is treating you all well at home. I never in a million years thought I’d miss Christmas (bleck!), but I’ve gotta say it’s WAY better than having school ON Christmas Day AND New Year’s Eve. WTF? More on that later.

Best,

Becca

 

It’s like knowing when you’re going to die

Before coming to Istanbul, I was warned on several occasions not to fall in love here. I told everyone there was nothing to worry about. I had zero interest in getting into a relationship. I came here feeling broken and bitter about love and I had no intention of putting my still-fragile heart in harm’s way again – and it would certainly be in harm’s way if I met someone wonderful because our relationship would surely end with my departure from Turkey.

In my first few month’s here, I was quite successful in my attempt to remain single. Nobody who approached me was worth my time. I could think of a hundred reasons not to get involved with just about every man who approached me, not least of which was that they were only interested in me because I’m an American, which translates to “easy” in Turkish man-speak. There’s some crazy belief here that if you approach any American girl she’ll bed you in two seconds flat. I actually had a guy flat-out ask me if I’d at least be up for sex when I told him I wasn’t interested in a relationship with him. So tempting … but NO. Ick.

In addition to all of these wonderful propositions I received daily – from the postman, the restaurateur on the corner, carpet store owners, grocers, passersby on the street, married men who stalked me in Starbucks – I was still in contact with my ex, further torturing myself and keeping myself locked in the past. I had come here to forget him, but I was still holding on to him from thousands of miles away.

So I decided to let go. I forced myself not to call or write to him anymore – and he certainly never took the time to call or write to me. A month went by with no word from him, then two. I began to feel free again and I knew I had finally left him in the past where he belonged. While this was a huge step forward for me, it would also be my downfall because it meant that my heart had room for someone else to move in … and move in he did.

I met Murat one month ago and he had me wrapped around his finger in just a few short days. I made a couple of attempts to keep my distance, reminding myself that I’d be leaving soon, that I wasn’t ready for a relationship, that I had promised myself I’d stay single until 2010, but they were all in vain. Murat made my heart happier in the first couple of days we were together than I had been in a year. He made me laugh and made me feel special in a way that no other man I’ve dated this year has done.

He also made me love this city. Before I met him, I thought Istanbul was alright. It was a cool city and I liked it here, but now it’s much more to me. Now I’ve seen Istanbul from a whole new perspective and it’s made me appreciate all the things that make Istanbul unique. I’ve discovered parts of the culture that would have been hidden to me without a Turk pointing it out to me. What I loved most about the places he showed me though was that I felt like he was showing me a part of himself. He took me to see live local music at a place he’s frequented for years. He introduced me to Tavla (backgammon) and a game called Okey. He got me to finally smoke nargile (hookah) and he introduced me to the wonderfulness that is salep. He also got me to try kokoreç, which I would have never known about without him. It’s one of my favorite foods here now (so great when you’re out drinking).

But most of all, he made me feel loved.

Unfortunately, things have been up and down since then, mostly because of cultural differences in dating and communication, but also because of the impending doom of our relationship, which can last two more months at most. Murat said to me the other day that knowing our relationship is going to end is kind of like knowing when you are going to die. It absolutely broke my heart when he said it because I knew he was right. I wanted to keep living in a dream world where one of us moves to the other side of the world to be with the other, but it is hard to argue with the reality of our situation. He has his life here – his job, his friends, his family. And I have to finish my masters program, which will keep me in the U.S. for at least another year. A lot can change in a year.

The thing is though, if I knew when I was going to die, I think I’d make the best of it – and I’d likely try to find some way to make it not happen. I’m not the type of person to just lie down and die because somebody says it has to be so. Fuck that. This is MY life, right? I can make it what I want and what I want right now is to find some way to make this work. I just wonder if he feels the same way…

 

Sightseeing in Istanbul

Because we came to Istanbul two weeks before school started (for “orientation“), Dana and I have had a lot of extra time on our hands for sightseeing. Most of the other students left town to go explore other parts of Turkey and to see the surrounding countries (Greece, Bulgaria, etc.), but we stayed here because we’re both concerned about overspending our financial aid money in the early days of this trip. Unlike all the 20-year-old students, Dana and I don’t have mom and pops funding us throughout the semester. This, of course, makes us boring to all of the other students because we can’t go out every night and get wasted or decide to take a 5-day cruise at the drop of a hat (I’m not bitter or anything). The plus, though, is that Dana and I are getting to know our areas of Istanbul quite well (that and the mall by my house).

In the last few days we’ve done just about every touristy thing possible, except for Topakapi Palace because at this point we’re a little worn out. But we’ll go see it soon, promise. Anyway, here are the highlights:

Grand Bazaar and Spice Bazaar: Dana and I mistakenly went here last Saturday, the day before Bayaram (the festival at the end of Ramadan). Picture the supermarkets the day before Thanksgiving, then times it by 100. The markets were PACKED. Don’t forget, there are 15 million people living in Istanbul, 80 percent of whom are Muslim. I got some great photos at the bazaars and also picked up some delicious Turkish Delight to send home to friends, but I really wish we’d chosen a different day to go. Dana and I were completely stressed by the end because we had to guard our bags so carefully in the crush of people. At one point we were trapped on a street among hundreds of other people, none of us able to move. I mean, we were at a complete standstill. And this is when it occurred to me that Dana and I were suddenly the only chicks in the area – and we somehow got spearated from each other. As we tried to work our way out down the street and out of the crowd we were grabbed numerous times by the men surrounding us. It was probably the most frightening situation I’ve ever been in and I was shaking by the time we disentangled ourselves from the crowd. All we wanted at that point was to get as far away from the market district as possible. We jumped on the tram and headed back toward home, stopping along the way to take some photos of the Bosphorus.

Bosphorus Cruise: Dana and I had intended to spend the day working our way up the Bosphorus on a cruise that stopped at various ports on both the European and Asian sides of Istanbul, but when we got to Eminönü it was super crowded and we just jumped on the first boat we saw (we were obviously still shaken after our experience at the Spice Bazaar, which is also located at Eminönü). The cruise we ended up taking was one that went up the Bosphorus and then came right back. It was about a 2-hour cruise and was extremely relaxing in comparison to any of the other sightseeing we’ve done so far. I especially enjoyed it because the lighting was perfect for getting some great photos. It had rained earlier in the day and the sky was still cloudy and made for a beautiful backdrop to the city. It was also a great way to get an overview of the city and kind of orient ourselves better (with the help of the guidebook I’d brought along). Now we’ll be better prepared when we DO do the cruise that stops at various locations.

Blue Mosque: After our cruise we still had some daylight to kill and, as before, we wanted to get as far away from Eminönü as possible, so we set out for Sultanahmet. Unfortunately, it was the second day of Bayaram and we arrived just before prayer time, so again there were tons of people everywhere. We didn’t know exactly where to go or what to do so we thought we’d just walk around the building and take some photos. We figured we’d come back a different day with one of our Turkish friends so we wouldn’t make any unforgivable mistakes, but then we saw some signs in English when we rounded the corner. There was a list of guidelines, along with the hours for visiting, which began about 45 minutes later. So we went to the nearby bazaar to kill some time before coming back to enter the famous Blue Mosque. This was by far one of the best things we’ve seen in Istanbul. The Blue Mosque gets its name from the thousands of handmade tiles covering its interior walls. Not only was the building beautiful, but the feeling inside was very serene. It was nearly silent inside and everyone was very respectful of the surroundings. At the time I was pre-occupied with taking photos, but I’d like to go back sometime without my camera and just sit and enjoy being there.

An added bonus was coming out of the Blue Mosque and seeing Aya Sofia lit up by the late afternoon sun. It was a great photo op and I took a ton of photos. I brought my Digital SLR with me and want to use my extra time here learning to take better photos and I’ve been getting lots of time to practice, but I feel sorry for Dana always having to wait around for me.

Asian side: On Tuesday, the last day of Bayaram, our Turkish friend (introduced to us by Kristina – thanks Kristina!), Aşkın (pronounce Ash-kun), took us to some great food spots in Istanbul, including this nice seafood restaurant in a small fishing village on the Asian side of Istanbul. It was nice having a guide (and a car!) to take us around the city.

Aşkın knows all kinds of little details about history and gives us cultural insights that our guidebook can’t provide, so we’re always super excited when he can come along for an adventure. Plus, he speaks French so I always get a chance to brush up on my French skills with him, which I like. He did make me eat fish that still looked like fish though. This is only funny because I’d told him a few days prior that I hate seafood, especially if it still looks like seafood. I can’t eat oysters or mussels from the shells and I DEFINITELY can’t eat fish that has eyeballs staring back at me. Aşkın ordered for us though because we didn’t understand one thing on the menu so I had no idea what I would be eating.  When it came, I looked up at him, pouted, and said, “Avec les yeux?” And that’s when he remembered. He chuckled, then apologized, if only to be polite, saying that the fish was so delicious that I’d forget about the eyes once I started eating it. I did not forget about the eyes, but I did eat it. I’m here to try new things after all.

Now all we have left on our list is Topkapı Palace and a Hamam of some sort. We’re going to put it off for awhile though. We’re pretty touristed out and school starts Monday so this weekend is all about relaxing and getting caught up on Season 6 of Project Runway.

P.S. I went back to the Spice Bazaar yesterday to get a couple of more things to send home and it was much more calm, so don’t be scared of it if you ever come to Istanbul. We just chose a really, really bad time to go. I still had major high anxiety when I went there yesterday, but it was definitely less scary and less crowded on a normal business day.

P.P.S. To see my photos from Istanbul you can go here.

 

The Waiting Game

Despite numerous warnings from the two study abroad students who came before us, Dana and I were still surprised by the level of incompetency at the University here in Istanbul. Actually, at first we thought the claims made to us by Curt and Kristina had been exaggerated because everything went so smoothly at Pre-Registration, where we turned in paperwork and received our logins and passwords for the online registration system. That, however, was the only thing that has gone smoothly since.

First, there was orientation, which was more of a meet and greet for us students than any kind of orientation. Originally slated to be two hours long followed by a campus tour, the “orientation” took only 30 minutes and told us nothing that we did not already know. Basically they welcomed us, showed us some pictures of students enjoying the campus, and told us they would have the documents we need to get our residency permits and local transportation cards “as soon as possible.” (Ten days later and we’ve heard nothing more on the matter . Note: We only have 30 days from when we entered the country to get these residency permits. I’ve been here for 17 days already.) Then we were released for our “campus tour,” which was essentially one student guide leading around some 75+ students and none of us being able to hear a word he was saying. The tour lasted approximately 15 minutes. After this we had a group dinner followed by a “city tour,” which was about as much of a tour as the campus tour had been, which is to say it wasn’t.

The next day we registered for classes, all of which we were unable to register for without permission from the professors, but nobody told us that so we completely freaked out about not getting our classes. We then emailed all of the professors and our advisor in a state of major anxiety. By the next day though, we were enrolled in all of our classes. By the way, we’re required to take three courses from our major plus a Turkish language course while we’re here. This didn’t give us much of a choice as to which classes to take because *only* three classes were offered in our major. Had we not gotten all three we would have been totally screwed.

Then comes the best part. The day after registration we began getting emails from our professors changing the days and times of our classes with the classrooms TBA. It’s been more than a week, class starts on Monday, and we still have no idea where we’re supposed to go. Oh, and we’re supposed to pick up our syllabuses from someplace called Hisar Copy. Uh, is this on campus somewhere? We wouldn’t know, given the campus tour we had. So, um, yeah, really looking forward to the first day of school.

And there’s really no point in asking the International Relations Office for help, even though they told us that they were “here to help us” at the “orientation” we attended, because all they say is for us to “be patient.” And so we wait.

 

Istanbul: First Thoughts

During my first couple of days in Istanbul I didn’t have Internet, so I’ve been keeping short little notes to myself about things I’ve noticed or thought since my arrival here.

Seatbelts: Nobody wears seatbelts here, even though everyone seems to drive however they want, paying no attention to traffic signals, signs or other vehicles. In fact, the taksi I took when I first arrived here had seatbelts, but no place to click the seatbelt into place. I asked one of my friends about this and he said there are seatbelt laws but nobody gets in trouble for not wearing one unless they get pulled over for doing something else. Oh, and people in the backseat are never required to wear seatbelts. I feel like I’m going to die every time I get into a car here.

Architecture: I’m constantly in awe of the beautiful architecture here. The mosques are amazing to look at and there is so much history in this city. I could live here ten years and would never feel like I’d seen everything there is to see here.

Air Conditioning: Seriously Istanbul (and Europe in general!)? You have a subway system the likes of which we’ll probably never see in California, yet you’ve never heard of air conditioning? I’m seriously thinking of writing to the U.S. government to see if they can send diplomats abroad to raise awareness about the newfangled invention of air conditioning.

Ramadan: I’m here at a really exciting time of year for the Muslim faith. I’ve heard about Ramadan and have even known a couple of practicing Muslims who have participated in this holy month of fasting, but it’s so much different when you’re in a place where 80 percent of the population is Muslim. Not all are practicing, but there are enough here who are to make the impact. Those celebrating Ramadan don’t eat, drink or smoke from sunrise to sunset. One of my Turkish friends told me that the time of year for Ramadan changes every year and this is one of the worst times of year to have it because the days are still long for summer so you have to fast for a much longer period than you would in the winter. I’m looking forward to September 20th because there’s going to be a big celebration for the end of Ramadan then.

Call for prayer: I had always thought the call for prayer was bells ringing or maybe a loud sound like a gong. I know this shows my ignorance of Islam, but that’s why I’m hear right? To learn? So anyway, it’s actually a person speaking. I don’t know what they’re saying, but the call for prayer is actually a person calling people to prayer. I had no idea what it was the first time I heard it, but I’m already getting used to hearing it several times a day.

Turkish people: Everyone here has been very hospitable. I’ve already had a hundred wonderful encounters with Turkish people. For instance, yesterday I was walking around Taksim by myself and was invited in by a shop owner who gave me a short lesson in how Turkish ceramics are made and what the symbology on the dishes is for, all while I was seated drinking some lovely apple tea. He knew from the beginning that I couldn’t afford to buy anything (“You don’t need to buy anything. Please, come in and take a look.”), but he was happy to spend time answering my questions and having a conversation with me.

The Bus: Because I live about 30 minutes by car from campus, I’ll be taking the bus to school every day. I’ve already learned how to use it pretty well thanks to my new friend Basak, who is the ex-girlfriend of my roommate. She showed me around on my first two days here and taught me where to shop and how to take the bus. Every time I’m on the bus it’s an adventure. People will ask the bus driver if he can just let them out wherever and he’ll just open the doors to let them hop off while at a traffic sign or sometimes when the bus is still moving. In the same vein, the bus doesn’t always pull up to the stop to let you on. If there’s a lot of traffic, they’ll stop halfway down the road (before the stop) and open the doors. If you weren’t paying attention and didn’t run to catch the bus down there, you can always hop on while the bus crawls by in traffic, but it will not stop again just for you.

Oh, one more funny story about the bus. When I was on it the first time by myself, the driver pulled over for quite some time. I thought it was because it was the end of the line or something and he was waiting for the right time to leave the stop like they do at home. Turns out he was waiting for a girl to run into a nearby store to pick up a drink, and for two other passengers to pick up some fast food. I guess they had asked him to take pity on them so they could get their first food of the day because they were practicing Ramadan. I can’t in a million years imagine that happening on a bus in the U.S.

Pennies: Apparently there are no pennies in Turkey. If your total is 9.99YTL, you will not get anything back. I think it’s a racket. Every store has the same 2.99 pricing that we have at home. They must be making a fortune each year on unreturned pennies because anything below 5 cents they’re keeping. It makes me want to whip out my credit card every time so I can pay only what is due. I guess I’ll just have to get used to it though.

Food: One thing is certain: I will not starve in Turkey. The food here is delicious! And they know how to make things spicy! I’m in love already. Oh my gosh, and the desserts! I’d be surprised if I don’t come home as big as a house.

Taksis: I cannot walk anywhere by myself here without taksis flashing their lights and honking at me to see if I want a ride. Each one only honks one time, so at first I thought it was because I was in their way or something. Turns out that’s how they see if you want a ride. The buses do it too when they’re passing a bus stop that more than one bus services. It’s going to make me crazy, I’m sure of it.

OK then, I’ll write again soon.

Best,

Becca

 

Most HELLISH day ever!

Because I’m really not in the mood at this point, and because the Internet here is snail paced, I’m not going to rewrite this. Instead, here’s the (slightly edited) email I sent to Leslie as soon as I landed in Istanbul:

Oh my God. Well the good news is I arrived safely. First, I bought
the wrong train ticket for Frankfurt and had a panic attack when they announced a
change in Mannheim for people going to the Frankfurt airport. When I got off the train, the guy at the platform told me it would cost me extra to change my ticket, but then on the train they were super great about it and just told which stop would be mine.

Then when I got to the airport I discovered that there were three luggage storage spots and I didn’t know which one Leslie’s brother took my luggage to. I was sweating like a pig because of course there was no air conditioning and I got huge blisters from walking back and forth
through the terminal. Luckily it was at the second storage location I tried so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

No, the truly awful thing was that my airline didn’t consider my flight international because I didn’t fly with them from the United States, so I was only allowed 20 kilos (44 pounds) before they started charging me 15 eurose PER KILO. For the record, my other airline allowed two 50-lb bags. That should give you some idea of what I was dealing with.

So basically they wanted me to pay $550 to check one of my bags, which, by the way, is twice the price I paid for my round-trip ticket from them. I ended up having to throw away pretty much everything in the suitcase her brother stored for me and STILL ended up paying €120 extra. I was crying hysterically because I’d been awake for 24 hours and they were so unsympathetic. AND what really pissed me off was that the flight was half empty! Was it really necessary to be nazis about the baggage allowance when there was NOBODY on the fucking flight. There were at least 25 empty seats, including the two right next to me (as if I needed it rubbed in that throwing away half my clothes and all of my toileteries was extreme). Twenty-five empty seats adds up to 25 bags not checked at 20 kilos each, which adds up to 500 kilos NOT on board. I don’t think my 8 kilos over the limit was going to ground the plane.

I’ve been traveling for a month. I’m 3,000 miles away from home with nobody who can just take my extra clothes home for me. Would it really have killed them to be a little bit understanding about the situation?

Needless to say, while I was on my layover I wrote a ridiculously long well-worded letter (no swearing!) to customer service. I’m sending it as soon as I have Internet. Oh AND my flight was an hour late so my roommate’s friend who was meeting me (and who got off work early to meet me) had to wait forever!

Fuck Swiss Air!

 

Story of my life these days

So, today I finally found a car on Craigslist for less than $1,000 that I could live with. I made all the arrangements with the guy and arranged a ride down to Lathrop so I could pick it up. Then just as I’m getting to leave I call to double check that he’ll be there and he tells me that he’s in the process of selling the truck to someone else. WTF?! I hate people.

 

I get hit on by all the winners

I seriously must have a flashing sign above my head that reads “Now Single” because I can’t remember ever being hit on in the last three years, but have been propositioned a number of times in the past week or so since Tony moved out. Not that I’m complaining, because I could really use the validation right now, but I have been interested in accepting exactly ZERO of the requests for my phone number/ a date from men. So, I thought I’d provide a couple of tips for the men out there:

1. Don’t tell me you’re going down to San Francisco to clear up a parking ticket so you can get your gun back, then proceed to try to shove my hand down your pants. On the Greyhound.

2. Don’t hit on me at Planned Parenthood. Obviously, I put out, just not for you.

3. Don’t be a creepy, balding, old guy.

4. Just don’t be creepy in general.

5. Do NOT call me “Boo.” In fact, how about you don’t call me any nicknames until we’ve at least slept together, mmmkay?

6. Don’t have neck tattoos.

7. Don’t sag your pants. That’s so 1991.

8. Do not refer to my booty. At all. The words plump, round, juicy, etc. all translate to “FAT” in whitegirlspeak.

*Note: I’m fairly certain this list will be added to regularly in the coming weeks. Prepare yourselves.

 

Don’t even get me started

Ugh, so I just read this blog by some guy (of course) about abortion and how women are always “crying” about women’s rights in the name of “legalized murder.” The guy seems like a pretty decent guy normally, but I could not believe how ignorant he was about abortion. He even wrote that women use abortion as a form of birth control, which is probably true for about .000001 percent of women. He also wrote that rape would be the only case in which he would support a woman having an abortion. Anywho, it of course enraged me and inspired the following comment, which is pretty much more like a blog post in itself, so I thought I’d post it, since you all LOVE when I post abortion blogs (come on, admit it, you love the drama). Here’s what I wrote:

This post is obviously from the viewpoint of a man. I don’t feel that I’m “crying” about women’s rights when I say that I believe women should have a right to choose. Personally, I don’t think I could have an abortion, but I also don’t think I have the right to tell someone else they can’t. There are numerous reasons a woman may NEED to have an abortion, not just rape. Not only that, but I would much prefer that women be able to have an abortion if they can’t take care of a child than I would that they have a child and raise it in poverty or add to the overpopulation of the world for no reason.

Furthermore, if you really want to complain about the reason women are having abortions as a “form of birth control,” then what needs to be addressed is the lack of proper sexual education in this country. The number one thing we can do to stop unwanted babies from being born without abortion is to teach men and women how to prevent those pregnancies in the first place. I sincerely doubt that there are millions of women out there though who are running down to the abortion clinic every time they get pregnant though. If they were, there wouldn’t be so many children living in poverty and in foster care programs.

Having an abortion is not a decision I think any woman takes lightly and is highly emotional. Add to that the fact that anti-abortion activists are constantly throwing it in our faces, and you can see that this isn’t a decision any woman (or couple, for that matter) makes without putting some serious thought into it. Although abortion is legal in this country, it is still a highly stigmatized procedure. And, just remember that without it, all of those women who were desperate for an abortion would probably try to perform it in their own home and would likely die from it. This is one of the main reasons abortion was legalized in the first place.

I think it’s far too easy for people to completely discount the benefits of living in a country that allows abortions, especially when they haven’t been faced with that awful decision. Just a little extra thought and critical thinking could show them that being pro-choice is not the same as being pro-legalized murder, no matter how much the anti-abortion people want you to believe that.